This isĀ 

All I can do in this part of my life is write, write until my hands bleed. Record the trials and tribulations I’m facing. I’m starting to see that right now is my prime. I have a story to tell. I have people waiting to connect with. This is the time my imperfections are turned into creations. Innovation is beneath my fingertips. I’m ready to embrace my struggle and write to the world all about. I’m ready to reach deep down inside of myself and pull out all of the gifts embedded in me. This is the time to be a writer. This is the time to create a story worth telling. 

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I’m here today, I’m alive and well. For some that’s the hardest thing to be able to make it to the next day. I guess I’m grateful for this moment of writing to you. Life gets you to a place of feeling dull and incomplete sometimes . Yet today right this second, I thank God for peace. Peace of being able to breathe. Peace of not worrying about the next second. And what’s to come thereafter. I think I get lost in the future. I’m just waiting and waiting to get to that peak, but I’m starting to figure out that the beauty is in the anticipation, the let downs, the funny moments, the painful moments. We just have to enjoy every part of it. Fight to find joy in every dull moment. I’m learning we have to stop making expectations and allow God to lead us on the journey. I’ve realized I’m not perfect, I’m so far from it yet I still aim to be all I can be. Sigh  I just want to be one of those people who get the meaning of life. So many people make life into what they can most likely see, but I feel there is soooo much more to know, to experience, to understand. I’m searching..

Letting Go

Everyone goes through phases in their life where they are forced to let go. Rather it’s a relationship, addiction, or series of bad habits, everyone battles something to the point of no return. No one said it would be easy, many of us relapse everyday from something we know is no longer serving us. The question is how do we move on? How do we walk forward without looking back. Even I have suffered from issues of letting things go, such as people I’ve grown to love or attach to. Emotional connections are one of the hardest obstacles to move past from. I realize that letting go is definitely for the better. I’m happy and healthier this way no matter how much I try to cling on to the past. So I’ve come to the realization that my past is haunting me, it wants me to continue to feed off of its energy. I can no longer go back and forth with this evil. So what do I do to completely remove this baggage from my life? It’s causing me frustration, sadness, and a bundle of other emotions. I say the first step of letting go is being upfront with yourself. Physically confess to yourself your problem. Next map out how you can gain power to defeat this issue. Many people underestimate their ability of willpower, already hindering themselves from conquering their fears. Another step is realizing that letting go does not happen overnight. It is something that takes hard work and dedication to defeat. You have to stay committed and consistent with fighting your demon. Whenever your issue tries to attack you smite it down. Never give your issue satisfactory to creep back into your life, sometimes you may get blindsided and give in but once you realize that it isn’t right, get back up again and fight the fight until your demon realizes your are stronger, or at least gaining more strength. I speak in the term of using the “demon” because every obstacle we face in life starts inside, it is an internal influence of some sort. A demon is an entity that aims to destroy you, bring upon negativity energy. So you have to be aware when something does not have good intentions. It took me almost three years to realize that, but everyday I fight harder and harder to let go of things that do not have my best interest. We have to be brave enough to recognize that demon and start attacking it, no matter what form it comes in. Love conquers fear, so you have to love yourself enough to remove toxins from your life. Letting go is a process, each and everyday is a step closer to shedding your old self. Never said it would be easy but with enough confidence and drive you will be able to conquer every obstacle that wants to defeat you, but in this case you’ll be defeating your obstacles. 
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-Sfiles