Life throws us many curve balls. Some are minor, some are major, and some are just unexpected pit stops in our journey to success. This year I was thrown many curve balls. I got distracted, I got depressed, I even got down on my luck. I start picking up bad habits and falling back into old ways. Throughout it all. God still kept his hand covered over me, even when I didn’t deserve it. I can honestly say that no matter my downfalls, I still made it through, and I exceeded past every obstacle. Most times in life when we know we are not living right, and we are fully aware of it we tend to live in guilt, wondering when the next boulder will fall on top of our heads, but as I’ve grown I’ve learned that we can not think that way. We are humans, humans that have the ability to create our own realities. Due to our trial and errors we are given yet another chance to make amends, and be better than before. We have to numb ourselves of all the pain and negativity, and just push pass it all to reach our goals. If you want to live better, than do better. Once again we have the ability to change our mindsets from “I can’t”, to “Yes the fuck I can”. We have to stop being afraid of defeat and claim our victory. I’m also learning that there has never been a better time to turn over the leaf in our lives, and try something new. It’s time to be innovative, think differently, live differently. Odds are, most people who feel unhappy, simply do nothing real to change their state of emotion. If we tried just a little harder to appeal to our spirits instead of our flesh, we would really see the difference in our well being. So turning over the leaf? What’s that mean? We’ve tried the New Years resolutions, and that’s normally thrown out the window by the end of the week. Let’s try something more, how about setting the tone each week, day, month with a goal that will keep you aligned on your plan of living righteously. Rather its’ monthly, weekly, bi-weekly, start by acknowledging things in your life that are not suiting you and pin-point it to change it. If we never face our skeletons we will always live in fear, but if we aim to finally fight against these transgressions, we will prevail and conquer the enemy once and for all. Sometimes you just really have to step out of faith, and trust God and his mission to lead your life, but you have to be willing to change habits and make living right a priority. It’s always easier said than done, but you only have one life to live, and so many chances. Let’s work together to make the best of this journey, I invite all who read this to walk with me as I practice healthier living spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally. It’s just time to be great, and God is waiting for you to walk into your blessings. If there is anything that is bothering you, haunting you, and just simply tugging you do away with it and let God wipe away all your tears. It’s time to be GREAT, believe in yourself and all that you are capable of, and God will handle the rest.
All I can do in this part of my life is write, write until my hands bleed. Record the trials and tribulations I’m facing. I’m starting to see that right now is my prime. I have a story to tell. I have people waiting to connect with. This is the time my imperfections are turned into creations. Innovation is beneath my fingertips. I’m ready to embrace my struggle and write to the world all about. I’m ready to reach deep down inside of myself and pull out all of the gifts embedded in me. This is the time to be a writer. This is the time to create a story worth telling.
I’m here today, I’m alive and well. For some that’s the hardest thing to be able to make it to the next day. I guess I’m grateful for this moment of writing to you. Life gets you to a place of feeling dull and incomplete sometimes . Yet today right this second, I thank God for peace. Peace of being able to breathe. Peace of not worrying about the next second. And what’s to come thereafter. I think I get lost in the future. I’m just waiting and waiting to get to that peak, but I’m starting to figure out that the beauty is in the anticipation, the let downs, the funny moments, the painful moments. We just have to enjoy every part of it. Fight to find joy in every dull moment. I’m learning we have to stop making expectations and allow God to lead us on the journey. I’ve realized I’m not perfect, I’m so far from it yet I still aim to be all I can be. Sigh I just want to be one of those people who get the meaning of life. So many people make life into what they can most likely see, but I feel there is soooo much more to know, to experience, to understand. I’m searching..
Ashes burn as I inhale your scornful words, your judgements slurs. Your eyes cut into my soul, as I try to avoid your stare. Your neglect ignites the fire that burns in my pores, as I try to put it out. The smoke clouds my surroundings as you confuse my soul, into playing your dirty games. I try to put you out with anything I can find. I stop, drop, and roll to stop the fire that attaches to my skin. I run and run away from your toxins as I find my cool deep cave of serenity and peace. I shall hide there until the fire is out. I shall find my peace and water the hot ground. I inhale your poison yet my lungs work their hardest to push you out. I fall to the ground with exhaustion, but never shall I gain defeat for I have watered the very ground you set on fire.
Working out isn’t the easy task to complete in our busy chaotic lives, but over the years God has revealed to me how vital it is to become one with mind and body. Recently I fell off track with my normal workout routines, and eating habits. On top of that I caroused in social activities such as drinking. Soon thereafter I began to feel sick and down. This soon led to me feeling resentment for my previous actions. I realized that when you fall off track from seeking your ultimate goal, you retract back to old habits that cause sluggardness, procrastination, sexual immorality, depression, and unhealthy eating habits, and our spirit suffers even more affecting our mind. When our spirit is not being fulfilled due to our distractions, it tends to send us signals through our body such as sickness or stress induced reactions. Long story short, after my pitfall I began to recuperate, and get back on track because I knew I could not soak in misery.When I went back to the gym after a 2 week recession, I gain 15 pounds! I was so shocked, even though I noticed my stomach being bloated from my bad food choices and alcohol. I then told myself I will not go back to this place, of practically poisoning my body excessively after going so long without giving in. I aim for good health, because your body is the shell of the mind and you have to protect its brilliance. It is important that we all aim for our absolute best, and striving for a healthy body that doesn’t consume itself with the filth of the world is the best choice. I know everyone has their setbacks and obstacles, but it is possible to push through to be the best “you”, your mind is capable of.
I try not to be self centered.
I try to listen more than I speak.
I try to conform.
I am tired of trying.
I am tired of acting this role.
I want to be self evolved for a moment.
I want to focus on becoming all I can be.
I want to be meet the true person that’s inside of me.
I want to be free.
I want to strictly rely on me.