Turning over the leaf

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Life throws us many curve balls. Some are minor, some are major, and some are just unexpected pit stops in our journey to success. This year I was thrown many curve balls. I got distracted, I got depressed, I even got down on my luck. I start picking up bad habits and falling back into old ways. Throughout it all. God still kept his hand covered over me, even when I didn’t deserve it. I can honestly say that no matter my downfalls, I still made it through, and I exceeded past every obstacle. Most times in life when we know we are not living right, and we are fully aware of it we tend to live in guilt, wondering when the next boulder will fall on top of our heads, but as I’ve grown I’ve learned that we can not think that way. We are humans, humans that have the ability to create our own realities. Due to our trial and errors we are given yet another chance to make amends, and be better than before. We have to numb ourselves of all the pain and negativity, and just push pass it all to reach our goals. If you want to live better, than do better. Once again we have the ability to change our mindsets from “I can’t”, to “Yes the fuck I can”. We have to stop being afraid of defeat and claim our victory. I’m also learning that there has never been a better time to turn over the leaf in our lives, and try something new. It’s time to be innovative, think differently, live differently. Odds are, most people who feel unhappy, simply do nothing real to change their state of emotion. If we tried just a little harder to appeal to our spirits instead of our flesh, we would really see the difference in our well being. So turning over the leaf? What’s that mean? We’ve tried the New Years resolutions, and that’s normally thrown out the window by the end of the week. Let’s try something more, how about setting the tone each week, day, month with a goal that will keep you aligned on your plan of living righteously. Rather its’ monthly, weekly, bi-weekly, start by acknowledging things in your life that are not suiting you and pin-point it to change it. If we never face our skeletons we will always live in fear, but if we aim to finally fight against these transgressions, we will prevail and conquer the enemy once and for all. Sometimes you just really have to step out of faith, and trust God and his mission to lead your life, but you have to be willing to change habits and make living right a priority. It’s always easier said than done, but you only have one life to live, and so many chances. Let’s work together to make the best of this journey, I invite all who read this to walk with me as I practice healthier living spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally. It’s just time to be great, and God is waiting for you to walk into your blessings. If there is anything that is bothering you, haunting you, and just simply tugging you do away with it and let God wipe away all your tears. It’s time to be GREAT, believe in yourself and all that you are capable of, and God will handle the rest.

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The Ending

Hello, I’ve been waiting for you to come. 

Honestly I’ve been dying for you to come.

See I don’t want to feel this way any longer. 

I don’t want to hurt this way anymore.

See I realized I have the ability to let go.

I have to power to shed all of you from my soul .

I can walk to the end of the finish line. 

I can hold my head high because I have conquered defeat.

I walk past that finish line to my new life.

I walk toward a new way of thinking, breathing, eating, living.

I used to think the end of us was going to be a tragedy.  

I thought I’d collapse into a case of depression.

Yet, I feel cleansed. 

I can feel my mind emptying your toxins.

I lay patiently until you are no more.

The ending feels better than the beginning.

I see a flower blossoming along the path I walk.

This flower is so vibrant and true.

For every ending, is new beginning. 

For the new beginning, lies within you. 

Truthfully 

I never understood why human interaction became so unnatural. Is it so hard for individuals to exchange interaction when seen in public? Among my college career I have witnessed on various accounts people who were either coworkers or roommates that refused to make eye contact, or exchange hellos upon seeing me in public. I often wondered what caused this disparity. Was it due to my race, gender, or social setting? Was something wrong with me? I often took these accounts personally as if I wasn’t good enough to be acknowledged in public, or something crazy right? After much reconciliation with myself, I realized I’m not the problem at all. I was never the problem. People who are afraid to speak in public suffer from a deeper social issue. They are afraid to be themselves. They have insecurities with who they are, not the other way around. Some people try very hard to fit in with a norm, that they never fully shape their true identity. I used to let social disparities discourage me, and make me overthink, but these accounts truly made me realize that I know who I am, and I’m truly finding myself. I am not afraid to speak to people of different races or social classes because I am secure in my being. I am not trying to fit in with a group of people to define me. This social occurrence has truly revealed to me there are billions of people who have not even been introduced to their true selves because they are too busy masking themselves to fit into a society that has no value. Continue being true to yourself, smile at those people even when they are truly afraid to smile back at you. In actuality they need true love, so pray for these people. They are afraid to love themselves truthfully. 
Your truth is your light. 
­čî╗