Ever wondered why when you sin, you feel this sense of defeat? Me neither, but I’m learning that we were designed to balance. We are yin and yang. The world has conditioned us to feel that we are supposed to reflect this perfect image of being. That is far from reality, we are intricate beings that replicate both evil and good. The key is balancing your angels to work for your overall good. Where would we be without the bad, without the struggle? Our spirit is of light, our flesh is of darkness. We must learn to love both aspects of our being. So whenever you fall down, slip up, or just down right give up. Get your ass up, brush off that dirt, and try it again. You are victorious. No matter how much you fall, you must rest assured it’s all divine. Keep fighting and you’ll always prevail. It’s when you give up, that is the only failure in life. Keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do we swim!
Love is something you can’t see.
Love is something no one can take away.
See you loved me with your eyes.
I loved you with my heart.
I despised my self love, to give you all I had.
My love wasn’t enough for you, my love was never enough to begin with.
See you never loved me, you lusted for me.
You loved my corpse, you never loved my heart.
You never knew my spirit.
I unloved myself for you.
You left me empty.
You left me dark.
But it’s my fault, I neglected myself for you, I didn’t see my worth so I continued to suck myself dry.
To all the men I’ve ever loved.
I still love you but I love myself more.
Sometimes we allow our emotions to wander.
Often times we think emotions should be free, that is true to an extinct, but in reality emotions must be controlled in order to be synchronized with your physical self. As a woman I have faced many challenges of being able to keep my emotions under raps. Rather it’s a love interest, self esteem, sex, hell even my upcoming period that’s taking a bit long causing me worry, I allow my feelings (emotions) to get the best of me. I’ve realized God has full control of life. Nothing goes outside his universal realm. Stop allowing minuscule things to take over your mind. Once your mind wanders you lose focus, you panic, you think the worst outcome. Find peace in uncertainty, find patience in waiting. Learn to divert your attention to those above. Emotions are powerful spiritual energies, a combustion of molecules and frequencies. Very delicate energy that needs to be governed as opposed to freely eradicating. When in a fritz take a deep breathe and listen to your intuition. Sometimes our emotions cloud judgment and radicalism.
Mind over matter
Love over pain
Laughter over sadness
Sunshine over rain
Peace over chaos
Simplicity over complexity
Courage over fear
Life’s pretty simple when you have the right gears
Coming to terms that this life is just a battle with the seen and unseen. We fight each other, not knowing we are truly fighting ourselves. Learning the world is a playground of ruin, and my livelihood is in the hands of my unseen self. Realizing that I have to seek higher reasoning, that I have to return my belief of being my own god, and allow God to govern my life. This fight is not easy but I am determined to overcome the principalities of this world.
Fear is nothing but an idea.
We create fear in our minds because someone implanted the idea.
Fear is of the imagination.
Why would you be afraid of something that has no power over you.
For you hold the key to the world.
You have all the ability to conquer any obstacle that sets foot in your way.
We use fear as an excuse to stay stagnant.
Remove fear from your imagination.
Freedom from fear is freedom to be yourself.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Fear can’t keep you from winning.
Most times we always get so busy with our daily schedule that we put aside any goals or aspirations that we have for ourselves. A wise man once told me that it is very important that we set an intent every day for the things that we would like to manifest. Rather it’s getting up in the morning and telling yourself you’re beautiful, or simply making sure that you do at least five sit ups a day is a great start to setting the tone for what you expect and want out of your day. My challenge for you today or even for this week is for you to set an intent for something that you truly want to transpire. When you wake up in the morning think about how you want your day to turn out. Set your intent and expect your day to transform the way that you envisioned. The more we set affirmations the quicker will see results!
Life throws us many curve balls. Some are minor, some are major, and some are just unexpected pit stops in our journey to success. This year I was thrown many curve balls. I got distracted, I got depressed, I even got down on my luck. I start picking up bad habits and falling back into old ways. Throughout it all. God still kept his hand covered over me, even when I didn’t deserve it. I can honestly say that no matter my downfalls, I still made it through, and I exceeded past every obstacle. Most times in life when we know we are not living right, and we are fully aware of it we tend to live in guilt, wondering when the next boulder will fall on top of our heads, but as I’ve grown I’ve learned that we can not think that way. We are humans, humans that have the ability to create our own realities. Due to our trial and errors we are given yet another chance to make amends, and be better than before. We have to numb ourselves of all the pain and negativity, and just push pass it all to reach our goals. If you want to live better, than do better. Once again we have the ability to change our mindsets from “I can’t”, to “Yes the fuck I can”. We have to stop being afraid of defeat and claim our victory. I’m also learning that there has never been a better time to turn over the leaf in our lives, and try something new. It’s time to be innovative, think differently, live differently. Odds are, most people who feel unhappy, simply do nothing real to change their state of emotion. If we tried just a little harder to appeal to our spirits instead of our flesh, we would really see the difference in our well being. So turning over the leaf? What’s that mean? We’ve tried the New Years resolutions, and that’s normally thrown out the window by the end of the week. Let’s try something more, how about setting the tone each week, day, month with a goal that will keep you aligned on your plan of living righteously. Rather its’ monthly, weekly, bi-weekly, start by acknowledging things in your life that are not suiting you and pin-point it to change it. If we never face our skeletons we will always live in fear, but if we aim to finally fight against these transgressions, we will prevail and conquer the enemy once and for all. Sometimes you just really have to step out of faith, and trust God and his mission to lead your life, but you have to be willing to change habits and make living right a priority. It’s always easier said than done, but you only have one life to live, and so many chances. Let’s work together to make the best of this journey, I invite all who read this to walk with me as I practice healthier living spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally. It’s just time to be great, and God is waiting for you to walk into your blessings. If there is anything that is bothering you, haunting you, and just simply tugging you do away with it and let God wipe away all your tears. It’s time to be GREAT, believe in yourself and all that you are capable of, and God will handle the rest.
All I can do in this part of my life is write, write until my hands bleed. Record the trials and tribulations I’m facing. I’m starting to see that right now is my prime. I have a story to tell. I have people waiting to connect with. This is the time my imperfections are turned into creations. Innovation is beneath my fingertips. I’m ready to embrace my struggle and write to the world all about. I’m ready to reach deep down inside of myself and pull out all of the gifts embedded in me. This is the time to be a writer. This is the time to create a story worth telling.
I’m here today, I’m alive and well. For some that’s the hardest thing to be able to make it to the next day. I guess I’m grateful for this moment of writing to you. Life gets you to a place of feeling dull and incomplete sometimes . Yet today right this second, I thank God for peace. Peace of being able to breathe. Peace of not worrying about the next second. And what’s to come thereafter. I think I get lost in the future. I’m just waiting and waiting to get to that peak, but I’m starting to figure out that the beauty is in the anticipation, the let downs, the funny moments, the painful moments. We just have to enjoy every part of it. Fight to find joy in every dull moment. I’m learning we have to stop making expectations and allow God to lead us on the journey. I’ve realized I’m not perfect, I’m so far from it yet I still aim to be all I can be. Sigh I just want to be one of those people who get the meaning of life. So many people make life into what they can most likely see, but I feel there is soooo much more to know, to experience, to understand. I’m searching..
Ashes burn as I inhale your scornful words, your judgements slurs. Your eyes cut into my soul, as I try to avoid your stare. Your neglect ignites the fire that burns in my pores, as I try to put it out. The smoke clouds my surroundings as you confuse my soul, into playing your dirty games. I try to put you out with anything I can find. I stop, drop, and roll to stop the fire that attaches to my skin. I run and run away from your toxins as I find my cool deep cave of serenity and peace. I shall hide there until the fire is out. I shall find my peace and water the hot ground. I inhale your poison yet my lungs work their hardest to push you out. I fall to the ground with exhaustion, but never shall I gain defeat for I have watered the very ground you set on fire.
Working out isn’t the easy task to complete in our busy chaotic lives, but over the years God has revealed to me how vital it is to become one with mind and body. Recently I fell off track with my normal workout routines, and eating habits. On top of that I caroused in social activities such as drinking. Soon thereafter I began to feel sick and down. This soon led to me feeling resentment for my previous actions. I realized that when you fall off track from seeking your ultimate goal, you retract back to old habits that cause sluggardness, procrastination, sexual immorality, depression, and unhealthy eating habits, and our spirit suffers even more affecting our mind. When our spirit is not being fulfilled due to our distractions, it tends to send us signals through our body such as sickness or stress induced reactions. Long story short, after my pitfall I began to recuperate, and get back on track because I knew I could not soak in misery.When I went back to the gym after a 2 week recession, I gain 15 pounds! I was so shocked, even though I noticed my stomach being bloated from my bad food choices and alcohol. I then told myself I will not go back to this place, of practically poisoning my body excessively after going so long without giving in. I aim for good health, because your body is the shell of the mind and you have to protect its brilliance. It is important that we all aim for our absolute best, and striving for a healthy body that doesn’t consume itself with the filth of the world is the best choice. I know everyone has their setbacks and obstacles, but it is possible to push through to be the best “you”, your mind is capable of.