April showers bring May Flowers 🌻

Greetings all!

Today is April 1st, not only is it considered April Fool’s Day, but it is a start to a new month, and a new cycle. As the weather breaks, what are some things, that you can manipulate and edit within yourself to prosper in this season? What do you want to see manifest this month/year? What are some things you want to remove, going into the new month? This is an ideal time to brainstorm and affirm whatever it is that you want to come to life. Eh, we have our trials and tribulations, but we were created to conquer everything we face. Don’t let ANY obstacles stand in the way of your new blessings. I wish you all a blessed, healthy, wealthy, prosperous, uplifting month ahead!

Love you guys!

-Sidneymcqueen 🌻

Love Internal

Love is something you can’t see.

Love is something no one can take away.

See you loved me with your eyes.

I loved you with my heart.

I despised my self love, to give you all I had.

My love wasn’t enough for you, my love was never enough to begin with.

See you never loved me, you lusted for me.

You loved my corpse, you never loved my heart.

You never knew my spirit.

I unloved myself for you.

You left me empty.

You left me dark.

But it’s my fault, I neglected myself for you, I didn’t see my worth so I continued to suck myself dry.

To all the men I’ve ever loved.

I still love you but I love myself more.

-Sidneymcqueen

Emotional

Sometimes we allow our emotions to wander.

Often times we think emotions should be free, that is true to an extinct, but in reality emotions must be controlled in order to be synchronized with your physical self. As a woman I have faced many challenges of being able to keep my emotions under raps. Rather it’s a love interest, self esteem, sex, hell even my upcoming period that’s taking a bit long causing me worry, I allow my feelings (emotions) to get the best of me. I’ve realized God has full control of life. Nothing goes outside his universal realm. Stop allowing minuscule things to take over your mind. Once your mind wanders you lose focus, you panic, you think the worst outcome. Find peace in uncertainty, find patience in waiting. Learn to divert your attention to those above. Emotions are powerful spiritual energies, a combustion of molecules and frequencies. Very delicate energy that needs to be governed as opposed to freely eradicating. When in a fritz take a deep breathe and listen to your intuition. Sometimes our emotions cloud judgment and radicalism.

I ate a taco 🌮

So I’ve been three months pescatarian 🐠. Going strong in my new way of life, until recently I got really sick. Started off as what I thought was small cold, turned into a gruesome stomach ache. Days go by and I’m undergoing severe cramps. Wth is wrong with me, is what I’m thinking. To speed the story up, I lost my appetite for about 2 days, didn’t eat a thing. My cramps and bloating subsided but not enough for me to pick up an appetite. I come home my mom’s like you need to eat “real” food. So yoooo my mom makes like the BEST tacos, she offers me some I’m like nahhh. So she proceeds to text me (yeah I’m in the next room, and yes I still stay with my parents post grad, haha), “you want my last taco?”. You guys it was a beef taco. I come out the room to temptation. I’m like you know what! It won’t hurt let me see if this sparks my appetite and hits the spot! I ate the taco, and created a debate in my mind as to if I should indulge in more. So after my mind starts telling me you’re gonna get sick, shortly after my taste buds and body agree, yuck it doesn’t even take like mom’s old tacos. I instantly regretted my decision, but at the same time it was more of an affirmation that my change of lifestyle was well worth it and maybe I should stick to it!

My point is, if you are going for something in your life rather it’s a change of diet, practicing abstinence, picking up a new hobby, etc, never let any one or any circumstance discourage you from obtaining your goal. Nine times out of ten when we indulge we end up feeling dissatisfied and upset with our decisions. Everyone slips up at times, but minimize your negligence so you may maximize and benefit from your goals!

P.s. I’ll stick to my shrimp tacos 😋

Peace,

Sidneymcqueen

Realizations

Coming to terms that this life is just a battle with the seen and unseen. We fight each other, not knowing we are truly fighting ourselves. Learning the world is a playground of ruin, and my livelihood is in the hands of my unseen self. Realizing that I have to seek higher reasoning, that I have to return my belief of being my own god, and allow God to govern my life. This fight is not easy but I am determined to overcome the principalities of this world.

-Sidneymcqueen